Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
To Sir with Love.
The typical romantic's search for their perfect lover, that person to whom they can become addicted to, or to be the one to whom they want you to become utterly addicted to ; seems to me, to be a very unhealthy relationship from the start.
Romantics of all ages wistfully dream of these manic obsessions, and of the passion of their 'addicted' lovers. *Sigh
Commerical tv soap operas and mainstream movies are full of them. Dysfunctional relationships, designed to make our own mania appear 'normal'. Alas, as with other forms of addiction, many will often end in domestic violence
Declaring that they will not let anyone else into their heart, because they have found the one to whom they will be addicted to( forever), getting everything they want from you, forever..... is that Love?
Sounds very suspiciously like fantasy, and possession .
And nothing like 'true', or real love.
The expectation that the other person will be available for that kind of emotional feeding frenzy for the rest of their lives is very unreasonable.
That is control, not love.
As with all chemical addictions, the amount of Love (stimulant) NEEDED to please will increase dramatically as tolerance levels rise, and worse; as reality starts to set in .
More 'love', more attention, and acts of devotion will be needed, in order to combat the empty feelings associated with the come downs from the euphoric highs of their wonderful addiction.
Control is their only solution.
Addicts must feel that they can get 'it' when they want it . NOW !
Having experienced a few panic attacks already, after they couldn't 'get on it' as they pleased, or couldn't find a quick substitute (like spending money) ; they quickly realise that their many fears will consume them, and they start to feel desperate; enough to hurt themselves, or their 'lover' (or ex-lovers)!
If they meet a person who has the self confidence to not become addicted to them, or who doesnt want you to become addicted to them either, then they are seen to be cold and unloving and are made to feel bad about themselves until they weaken and try 'it'.These people may very well be the perfect partner for a REAL-ATIONSHIP, but they just dont get ' IT ' !
Do they ?
Romantics of all ages wistfully dream of these manic obsessions, and of the passion of their 'addicted' lovers. *Sigh
Commerical tv soap operas and mainstream movies are full of them. Dysfunctional relationships, designed to make our own mania appear 'normal'. Alas, as with other forms of addiction, many will often end in domestic violence
Declaring that they will not let anyone else into their heart, because they have found the one to whom they will be addicted to( forever), getting everything they want from you, forever..... is that Love?
Sounds very suspiciously like fantasy, and possession .
And nothing like 'true', or real love.
The expectation that the other person will be available for that kind of emotional feeding frenzy for the rest of their lives is very unreasonable.
That is control, not love.
As with all chemical addictions, the amount of Love (stimulant) NEEDED to please will increase dramatically as tolerance levels rise, and worse; as reality starts to set in .
More 'love', more attention, and acts of devotion will be needed, in order to combat the empty feelings associated with the come downs from the euphoric highs of their wonderful addiction.
Control is their only solution.
Addicts must feel that they can get 'it' when they want it . NOW !
Having experienced a few panic attacks already, after they couldn't 'get on it' as they pleased, or couldn't find a quick substitute (like spending money) ; they quickly realise that their many fears will consume them, and they start to feel desperate; enough to hurt themselves, or their 'lover' (or ex-lovers)!
If they meet a person who has the self confidence to not become addicted to them, or who doesnt want you to become addicted to them either, then they are seen to be cold and unloving and are made to feel bad about themselves until they weaken and try 'it'.These people may very well be the perfect partner for a REAL-ATIONSHIP, but they just dont get ' IT ' !
Do they ?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Does Love conquer All ?
What is the ALL that Love is supposed to conquer?
Fear?
Love does not conquer fear .
Truth conquers fear.
Fear?
Love does not conquer fear .
Truth conquers fear.
The Perfect Partner vs The Perfect Relationship
Most people want the perfect relationship; and yet they mostly search for their version of perfect person to be with.
Once within a relationship, we begin to make observations of the others flaws
OHH NO ! they arent perfect !
We pretend to our partners we are more than we are.
We fear they will realise that others appear to have or be more than us.
We start to need more reasurirng than before, that we are still within a perfect relationship!
Unconscioulsy we start believe in, and fear the inevitable dilemma ;
We must 'help' the other, to become closer to (our ideal) perfect !
We justify ourselves upon the task of improving our imperfect relationship, by improving our partners.
Until the fateful day arrives ... there is no point to continuing with it anymore ...
they arent perfect and never will be! (im not perfect !??) and theres nothing i can do about it .
The end! ( of our perfect relationship?)
Q: Were they ever really together, and within a genuine relationship ?
OR were they only upon some deluded quest, a pilgramage, or 'hunt' for their 'perfect' person ?
Q: What is a genuine relationship ?
Q: If we become addicted to this 'perfect' person for our pleasure, and as with all addictions, we end up needing more and more (energy) from them to keep up our 'high' ( which finally makes us sick, of ourselves and them); who then is the 'right 'person to share a "genuine relationship" with ?
Once within a relationship, we begin to make observations of the others flaws
OHH NO ! they arent perfect !
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
We pretend to our partners we are more than we are.
We fear they will realise that others appear to have or be more than us.
We start to need more reasurirng than before, that we are still within a perfect relationship!
Unconscioulsy we start believe in, and fear the inevitable dilemma ;
how can our relationship be perfect if our partner isn't perfect ?
We must 'help' the other, to become closer to (our ideal) perfect !
We justify ourselves upon the task of improving our imperfect relationship, by improving our partners.
Until the fateful day arrives ... there is no point to continuing with it anymore ...
they arent perfect and never will be! (im not perfect !??) and theres nothing i can do about it .
The end! ( of our perfect relationship?)
Q: Were they ever really together, and within a genuine relationship ?
OR were they only upon some deluded quest, a pilgramage, or 'hunt' for their 'perfect' person ?
“Every search begins with beginners luck and ends with the victor’s being severely tested.”
Q: What is a genuine relationship ?
Q: If we become addicted to this 'perfect' person for our pleasure, and as with all addictions, we end up needing more and more (energy) from them to keep up our 'high' ( which finally makes us sick, of ourselves and them); who then is the 'right 'person to share a "genuine relationship" with ?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
(Ignorance * Arrogance) / EGO = ?
If we value ourselves as important ; ergo, then those we value must also be.
How do we attribute that value to them ?
Why then do others not see in them what we do ?
Do we value them only becasue they value us ?
Is unrequited love sustainable?
Is it 'true love' ?
When we assess the virutes of the education and the 'life' experiences of a person, do we accurately value them as they deserve to be appreciated?
IS the value of a person, a measure of their capability to create about them some esoteric or erotic entertainment; or is it really their ability to remain unremarkable in world that seems to urgently need of them, and those of kith or kin, to be seen as someone 'special' ?
How do we attribute that value to them ?
Why then do others not see in them what we do ?
Do we value them only becasue they value us ?
Is unrequited love sustainable?
Is it 'true love' ?
When we assess the virutes of the education and the 'life' experiences of a person, do we accurately value them as they deserve to be appreciated?
IS the value of a person, a measure of their capability to create about them some esoteric or erotic entertainment; or is it really their ability to remain unremarkable in world that seems to urgently need of them, and those of kith or kin, to be seen as someone 'special' ?
Monday, August 30, 2010
In Famous ?
If we are in only ever really in the moment of now, then why are we so consumed by the personalities and products of the past ?
Mozart for instance. His music is as vibrant and influential upon the contemporary community and culture today ( if not more so), than ever in his own times.
Or for instance, the actions and thoughts of a 5th century BC prince of India, the Buddha; still resonate with us as if he were amongst us now; and to many, more so than their own living spiritual teachers !
There are so many examples of past personalities, the famous, and the infamous; that still have a virtual presence today, and yet we are well aware that they are not real.
So WHY do we involve them in our lives?
Do we want to be them ? Do we fear them ?
If we were to count the number of these people (who we will never meet here in the now, and yet we carry their profile around with us everywhere we go); could it be that they would outnumber those that we have and will meet in reality? What does that say about us?
Mozart for instance. His music is as vibrant and influential upon the contemporary community and culture today ( if not more so), than ever in his own times.
Or for instance, the actions and thoughts of a 5th century BC prince of India, the Buddha; still resonate with us as if he were amongst us now; and to many, more so than their own living spiritual teachers !
There are so many examples of past personalities, the famous, and the infamous; that still have a virtual presence today, and yet we are well aware that they are not real.
So WHY do we involve them in our lives?
Do we want to be them ? Do we fear them ?
If we were to count the number of these people (who we will never meet here in the now, and yet we carry their profile around with us everywhere we go); could it be that they would outnumber those that we have and will meet in reality? What does that say about us?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Back to the Now
Hi
Lets start where all things start; at the end.
My lover and i are now - past.
A worry for both of us i suppose; however, at least its (well perhaps) a sign of progress towards what seems to be the slowest torture known to man: the great exploration/expectation of finding the fabled 'one', "true love".
.
Lets start where all things start; at the end.
My lover and i are now - past.
A worry for both of us i suppose; however, at least its (well perhaps) a sign of progress towards what seems to be the slowest torture known to man: the great exploration/expectation of finding the fabled 'one', "true love".
.
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