To Sir with Love.

The typical romantic's search for their perfect lover, that person to whom they can become addicted to,  or to be the one to whom they want  you to become utterly addicted to ; seems to me, to be a very unhealthy relationship from the start.

Romantics of all ages  wistfully dream of  these manic obsessions, and of the passion of  their 'addicted' lovers. *Sigh

Commerical  tv soap operas and mainstream movies are full of them. Dysfunctional relationships, designed to make our own mania appear 'normal'. Alas, as with other forms of addiction,  many will often end in domestic violence

Declaring that they will not let anyone else into their heart, because they have found the one to whom they will be addicted to( forever), getting everything they want from you, forever..... is that Love?

Sounds very suspiciously like fantasy, and possession .
And nothing  like 'true', or real love.

The expectation that the other person will be available for that kind of emotional feeding frenzy for the rest of their lives is very unreasonable.
That is control, not love.

As with all chemical addictions, the amount of Love (stimulant) NEEDED  to please will increase dramatically as tolerance levels rise, and worse; as reality starts to set in .

More 'love', more attention, and acts of devotion will be needed,  in order to combat the empty feelings associated with the come downs from the euphoric highs of their wonderful addiction. 

Control is their only solution.
Addicts must feel that they can get 'it' when they want it . NOW !
Having experienced a few panic attacks already, after they couldn't 'get on it' as they pleased, or couldn't find a quick substitute (like spending money) ; they quickly realise that their many fears will consume them, and they start to feel desperate; enough to hurt themselves, or their 'lover' (or ex-lovers)!


If they meet a person who has the self confidence to not become addicted to them, or who doesnt want you to become addicted to them either, then they are seen to be cold and unloving and are made to feel bad about themselves until they weaken and try 'it'.These people may very well be the perfect partner for a REAL-ATIONSHIP, but they just dont get ' IT '  !
Do they ?